Buy Nothing, Get One Free

"I don't need the can," I explained to the eager store clerk wearing an orange vest who had stopped me as I carried the big Rubbermaid top toward the checkout conter. "I just need the lid."

"We don't sell lids, ma'am," he said for the second time as her reached for it. "I'll put it back for you."

"I don't want to put it back. I want to buy it," I replied, swinging the lid away from the clerk like a child with a coveted toy.

Another orange-vested clerk walked up and chimed in. "He's right. We don't sell the lids separately. Only with the cans." He was leading me toward the Customer Service desk as he talked, and I readily followed.

"May I help you?" the customer service offered with a plastic smile.

"The garbage collectors hauled off the lid to my garbage can, and I need a replacement."

"We don't sell just the lids, ma'am. We sell the garbage cans, and the lids come with them."

I was getting a little weary of this by now so I offered a solution to break this gridlock.

"How about I purchase a garbage can then? The lid's included, right?"

The customer service rep thinks we're making progress, and he nods his head.

"So, I'll buy the can with the lid and leave the can in the store," I sweetly offered. "The can won't even fit into my car, and besides I don't need it."

"That's against store policy," the store representative said in his most officious voice.

I raised my voice. "Wait a minute here. I just bought a one hundred thirty dollar barbeque pit and I'm willing to pay full price for something I don't even need. Are you telling me I have to carry off the can to get the lid?"

Just then the store manager appeared sans orange vest and asked what the problem was. The clerk and the customer service rep explained the situation. Then it was my turn. I recounted a similar situation from the movie Five Easy Pieces when Jack Nicholson wanted some toast and had to order a sandwich without the ingredients to get it. For good measure I added, "Sam Walton is turning over in his grave at this."

Something finally clicked with the store manager. "How about we give you the lid?"

Several years and several moves later, I found the hard-won garbage lid in my storeroom. The huge Rubbermaid garbage can is now missing. If I play my cards right, I might be able to get a new one- without a lid.

Click here to read more excerpts from Finding Magic in the Mundane.